Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Once a 'busy' body..

For the last few weeks, I was as busy as a bee. A 'busy' body, one would say. I remembered squeezing my brain for Kiran’s ‘PUNCTUATION IS CRUCIAL’ essay questions, anxiously preparing for PTE quizzes that keep on coming non-stop and staying up at ridiculous hour with my group mate to complete projects and presentation. There was once, I only managed an hour nap before a test. Everything seems so ‘traffic jam’ hectic, so unorganised that it turned out a horrible experience. Assignments fell out of place and with time as our biggest enemy, pressure arose within and tension was all on the air.

But now, as I am reminiscing my last ‘remains-of-the-days’ in the faculty, it’s odd to believe that I actually miss it.


Posted by a lifelong learner at 6:42 AM

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Morning's blue

I woke up at 10.30 and realised how fortunate I was to be the only one at home. Had my mother still home, I’d be forced to undergo a long lecture of “how to be an anak dara’. The most hateful part is that they are always right. I mean if I have a daughter, I wouldn’t want her to rise after the sun.

So here’s the story of my life. Waking up blur and subconscious, I drag my feet to shower. Make myself a cup of Nescafe (caffeine is my drug) and a pair of toasted bread with kaya. I had my breakfast in front of the television, watching E! and wonder, what a great way to start a day. No nagging, no telling of today’s chores. Just me and Ryan Seacrest (haha!).

Now that I am halfway to a ‘three months’ semester break, I wonder what am I to do. I have had this image of a beach in my mind for a long time (its funny to think that beach is a homonym to bitch). , especially after I get my first stressful grade from Mr. Kiran ( if there’s a ‘Miss Awful’ in the Faculty of Education, it’s him alright). But I learn to adapt to his strict marking, turns out I did quite okay‘lar..’. There’s something about him that makes me want to be ‘bouncy’ like a spring, you know. That every time someone pressed it hard to the ground, it always bounces back up. He makes me that, makes me don’t wanna give up. There was once, I said “Sir, I’ll try to my best” and he said “ Every time someone said that means he fails to his best, so never say you’ll TRY to do you best.” “Always say, I’ll DO my best.”

Where am I? Oh yeah, beach. As much as I love having my feet in sand while seeing the sun sets in the ocean, and dive into the blue only to be surprised by a lot of other colours…the green seaweed, the purple corals and rainbows of fish (Awwwhhh..). I think I’ll pass ‘lah’. Besides, I have been to Redang last year and it was fantastic. If you must know, the best artwork is not stuck in some gallery or museum or having Picasso or Da Vincci in it. The best painting, I must say, after going to Redang, is actually UNDERWATER! And the best thing is.. its 3D and its cheap! I find that an experience is never as the same touch as if you experience it twice.

I still don’t know what to do for the holiday. My educational side suggests that I should take classes to improve my skills but my lazy side prefer staying at home, stuff myself in the comforter while enjoying a good film. It’s hard to have a lot of sides; you never know what to decide. I think I should write a book entitled, ‘Confession of a Split Personality’. I don’t know.. Hurrmm, but for now, my lazy side seems to make more SENSE!

Posted by a lifelong learner at 11:04 PM

Sunday, March 1, 2009

"To Miss with Love"

I’ve just finished watching ‘To Sir with Love’ and I find myself staring at the monitor even after the show has ended. Good movies usually struck such impact on me, and this one is not like those ordinary good movies, it’s better! I am engrossed from the beginning to the end.

Braithwaite, in my judgement is an intelligent, warm brute who always find a way to skilfully mesh reality and humanity in his teaching. Because of this, he is different for when other teachers taught a textbook, he taught life. Braithwaite manipulated his students to act decent and in return treated those innocent rebels with an acknowledgement of respected adults. This includes maintaining the least code of hygiene to which that prevent smells and flies, a cleansed language etiquette and cloth to match it, as well as a polished manner used regularly by educated adults.

One thing I’ve learnt from the senior educators is that never to expect learners to be expectable. Choosing students is never a teacher’s luxury. Thus, in the end the ultimate solution is to adapt and adopt.

Braithwaite successfully demonstrated it, among other educationalist characters on the television from genuine Miss G in Freedom Writers to the ‘too-good-to-be-true’ Onizuka in GTO. Often when I contemplated these supreme teachers, I try to seek myself in between them but alas, in their shadows, I am invisible. Am I worth a teacher?

One more year of drudgery, I am off to serve my purpose and yes, though my certificate confirms my qualification(if I graduated) as a teacher, the real question is..would I earn the title?? What kind of young audience will be staring at me and whatever will I do if they turn out to be more a monster than typical high school rascals.

Would I have my own “To Miss with Love”…???????????????????????

Posted by a lifelong learner at 4:35 AM

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Loneliness kills!

.......Of those hours, I’m alone. I’m tortured by the slow, dreadful ticking of the old

clocks as if timing my agonizing waiting. Each tick gives a pang to my soul, they are

not coming, they are not coming, the devil they whispered. Sometimes, I find myself

struggling from going an inch away to smashing the bloody noise machine. Sanity

saves me often.

Loneliness kills. You laughed at this, at the humorous possibility that it is a phrase

said by psychotic lovers. But there are also other possibilities. And You keep on

laughing because You don’t understand.

If you can see loneliness, you’ll cry and cry and cry till it stop seeing you. If you can

hear loneliness, it is like a sad, dragging music that cynically laugh to humiliate your

suffering. If you can feel loneliness, you’ll scream in pain for it is sharper than all the

swords in the world. The moment loneliness started to hunt, you’ll run wherever

that’s promising to where sleep and death become nothing much of a difference.

Posted by a lifelong learner at 1:41 AM

Friday, February 20, 2009

A letter to a friend

Dear friend,

I’ve been trying so hard to reach you to the extent when I felt no less than a fool. I’ve searched for every possible medium to access you from messages, phones only to screw up all over. And since I’ve cracked out of ideas, this shall be my last resort.

I am cursed a stubborn girl, you see. I have rarely brought myself so low as to utter any words of apology regardless of my fault. But for you, my so-called dignified principle which I salute as highly as I do my proud reputation suddenly doesn’t matter anymore. Everything stops to matter.

Forgive me, my friend. I.. am.. beg-ging.. you.. please..

I know I’ve wronged you in so many ways emotionally and perhaps even mentally. I’ve realized that my calling annoyed your privacy, my choice of time is irrational and ridiculous, my purpose gibberish. Hey! Any mortal will be tormented by such tall demands, right?

You know what, of all this while I tell you I called because I am bored was as simply as to cover the silly fact that I just wanna call you because I want to! Just consider my nonsensical calling as a way for a friend to keep in touch and tolerate my behavior under immaturity and childishness. Think whatever, okay?

I want you to know that whatever I did, is never intended to hurt. Why should I? When hurting you will only hurt myself. Thus, please my friend, OPEN UP to me (in a peaceful and educated manner, please) so that I would know! Don’t let your misery accumulates, before you knew it, it’ll turn to something uglier.

I feel guilty that of all those years, you’ve taught me friendship, and all I've taught you is how to hate.

Posted by a lifelong learner at 8:31 AM

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Assalamualaikum ya'all ^_^

Welcome to my blog...

Posted by a lifelong learner at 7:43 PM