Sunday, February 22, 2009

Loneliness kills!

.......Of those hours, I’m alone. I’m tortured by the slow, dreadful ticking of the old

clocks as if timing my agonizing waiting. Each tick gives a pang to my soul, they are

not coming, they are not coming, the devil they whispered. Sometimes, I find myself

struggling from going an inch away to smashing the bloody noise machine. Sanity

saves me often.

Loneliness kills. You laughed at this, at the humorous possibility that it is a phrase

said by psychotic lovers. But there are also other possibilities. And You keep on

laughing because You don’t understand.

If you can see loneliness, you’ll cry and cry and cry till it stop seeing you. If you can

hear loneliness, it is like a sad, dragging music that cynically laugh to humiliate your

suffering. If you can feel loneliness, you’ll scream in pain for it is sharper than all the

swords in the world. The moment loneliness started to hunt, you’ll run wherever

that’s promising to where sleep and death become nothing much of a difference.

Posted by a lifelong learner at 1:41 AM

Friday, February 20, 2009

A letter to a friend

Dear friend,

I’ve been trying so hard to reach you to the extent when I felt no less than a fool. I’ve searched for every possible medium to access you from messages, phones only to screw up all over. And since I’ve cracked out of ideas, this shall be my last resort.

I am cursed a stubborn girl, you see. I have rarely brought myself so low as to utter any words of apology regardless of my fault. But for you, my so-called dignified principle which I salute as highly as I do my proud reputation suddenly doesn’t matter anymore. Everything stops to matter.

Forgive me, my friend. I.. am.. beg-ging.. you.. please..

I know I’ve wronged you in so many ways emotionally and perhaps even mentally. I’ve realized that my calling annoyed your privacy, my choice of time is irrational and ridiculous, my purpose gibberish. Hey! Any mortal will be tormented by such tall demands, right?

You know what, of all this while I tell you I called because I am bored was as simply as to cover the silly fact that I just wanna call you because I want to! Just consider my nonsensical calling as a way for a friend to keep in touch and tolerate my behavior under immaturity and childishness. Think whatever, okay?

I want you to know that whatever I did, is never intended to hurt. Why should I? When hurting you will only hurt myself. Thus, please my friend, OPEN UP to me (in a peaceful and educated manner, please) so that I would know! Don’t let your misery accumulates, before you knew it, it’ll turn to something uglier.

I feel guilty that of all those years, you’ve taught me friendship, and all I've taught you is how to hate.

Posted by a lifelong learner at 8:31 AM

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Assalamualaikum ya'all ^_^

Welcome to my blog...

Posted by a lifelong learner at 7:43 PM